As I’ve worked with and cared for pastors over the past twenty five years, one of the particularly nasty hazards is that of “burnout.” In spite of the popularity of the term, most people are unaware of the complexity of the problem and often fail to recognize it soon enough to make a difference. Burnout is a particularly sneaky assassin, and although it has the destructive force of an IED, it usually approaches from behind and strangles the love out of its victim. Yeah, that’s not a typo, it’s a love killer as well as a ministry ender.
Ministry takes place within a spiritual economy of personal sacrifice that is relationally, physically and emotionally demanding. Burnout is always directly related to the larger work environment and is always in response to relationships and stressors. There is no single cause of burnout. The research has found that burnout is related to a multitude of work dynamics such as work load & time demands; relationship & emotional demands; lack of supportive relationships, affirmation & encouragement; negative feedback; lack of resources to accomplish ministry; and many more.
Burnout is a very complex mix of experiences and feelings. It doesn’t just happen and it is not related to individual inadequacies or personality traits. In other words, everyone is susceptible to it. I’ve noticed that many pastors think they should be made of stouter stuff and should somehow rise above the emotional needs of normal humans. This almost always results in late recognition of what is happening and a tremendous amount of shame is often attached to the experience.
Most people think of burnout as a one dimensional issue of emotional exhaustion, but burnout actually consist of three dimensions: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and personal crisis. These dimensions are experienced across a wide range of intensity. When a pastor is distressed to the point of either leaving the ministry or becoming so ineffective as to be unable to function in ministry, they are probably experiencing all three of the dimensions.
Emotional Exhaustion
Emotional exhaustion is the most widely reported experience of burnout and is the most recognized manifestation of the experience. Feeling overwhelmed by ministry demands, feeling depleted of emotional resources, and feeling like you just can’t take anymore are common reactions. The emotional demands of ministry exhaust the ministry leader’s capacity to give more to, be involved with, or responsive to, the needs of the ministry recipients. Feelings of depressed mood begin to invade and pastors will often respond by isolating themselves from others. In an effort to combat this sense of emotional depletion pastors will often attempt to increase their personal devotion time with the Lord, but even that experience is impacted by the loss of emotional responsiveness and well-being. In other words, it’s hard to experience a joyful relationship when you are emotionally exhausted and this is true in relationship with the Lord. This is like a landmine that pops up just when you think you’ve found the escape route to the emotional fire you are taking. It explodes in a deepening sense of emotional loneliness and is immensely confusing for pastors. Spiritually paralyzed, you begin to feel isolated from the one most sustaining relationship that has been so defining and purposeful. There’s a man down but help doesn’t seem to be coming.
Depersonalization
Few people are aware of this dimension and even fewer understand how powerful and overwhelming this little grenade is. When I meet with pastors and describe this aspect of burnout I frequently get an immediate response of recognition and relief. Depersonalization, also called cynicism in the research literature, refers to a change in how ministry leaders perceive those under their care. When someone feels cynical, they take on a cold, unattached or distant attitude toward them. They sometimes feel like everyone is an idiot and deserve whatever they get! While listening to someone who they were previously compassionate towards they are thinking “why are you bothering me?” Depersonalization is an attempt to put distance between oneself and care recipients, and pastors often begin to decrease their personal ministry to others as their normal optimism gives way to cynicism. But this has an emotional purpose: it serves as a protective function in an attempt to protect oneself from exhaustion and disappointment. This is usually accompanied with a tremendous sense of shame in which the ministry leader doesn’t just feel guilty that they are thinking badly, but that they are bad personally for thinking that way. Guilt is “I’ve done something bad.” Shame is “I am something bad.” It’s these feelings of guilt and shame that lead into the final component of the experience.
Personal Crisis
There is a decreasing sense of personal accomplishment, ability and effectiveness. The negative self appraisal becomes so profound that many pastors and ministry leaders begin to feel that any menial job, even secular, is all they are equipped for and would be a relief to the present experience. Even past accomplishments are viewed through this profoundly negative lens, and feeling inadequate and ineffective they lose confidence in their ability to make a difference. In short, they are ready to give up and feel there is no other choice, they feel like failures. This bunker buster penetrates into the deepest sense of our purpose and meaning. It wipes out our sense of who we are, what we were called to do and our ability to do it.
When seen from this multi-dimensional perspective burnout becomes something much more complex and significant than just a reaction to stress. When all of these dimensions of burnout emerge, pastors are in trouble and need to seek help. Because of the complex, personal, and deeply emotional nature of burnout, it is imperative that you find a helping professional that can provide you with a confidential, caring and informed relationship. I cannot stress enough the need to seek out help with someone who has either experienced and recovered from burnout or who specializes in the recovery process. There are many good resources that will help, but the essential nature of burnout is relationship oriented and it will take a relationship to combat it. Get the books but also get the right help you need.